Death and New Life

The last two weeks have been a roller coaster of emotion. I’ve been so up and down that my moods have just gone haywire. I started crying randomly during our Easter service because we had to sit in the lobby due to a packed service and the fact that we arrived right before it began. It was, of course, our fault. I took too long getting ready, we had to wrestle the dog into the crate, and so on. But I felt cheated out of my Easter experience. It is my very favorite Sunday (or in our case, Saturday) of the year and I felt like I didn’t get to fully participate in the service. And then during the sermon everything hit me. The craziness of the last two weeks, watching the service on a TV screen, the death and resurrection of Jesus (which, on a good day, is enough to make me teary). I knew I was being ridiculous, but I just felt so overwhelmed.

I’ve been on a Shauna Niequist kick lately. It began when I read Bread and Wine and loved it. Bonnie got me Bittersweet for my birthday, and I might have loved that even more. In it she talks about the Christian life bearing a pattern of death and new life. She talked about looking at her own life and places that she could see it. The death of a dream, the death of a job, of the life you thought you were called to live. But if you look for it, something new and beautiful springs up in it’s place. Death and new life.

Two weeks ago my grampy died. My dad called on a Saturday morning after a particularly bad night shift at work to let me know Grampy had gone home. Corey and I traveled to Pennsylvania for the viewing and funeral. It was comforting to be with my family, but a sadness hung in the air even though we rejoiced that Grampy was with Jesus. My grammy (who was married to my grampy for 68 years before she died) passed away 4 years ago. Grampy’s death seemed to carry such a finality with it. No more grandparents on my dad’s side. Standing at Grampy’s funeral I shook that feeling, reminding myself that in Christ, after death we are promised life….life abundant. I saw it there in my grampy’s testimony, death and new life.

Two days after the funeral i missed call from our adoption agency. When I called back our coordinator told me that we had received the referral for our little girl. I cried again. While still mourning the passing of my grandfather, we would start preparing for the arrival of our daughter. Death and new life.

I’m seeing it all around me even now as the cold of winter gives way to a season of renewal. Winter’s death is swallowed up in the new life of spring.

As I worshiped in church last night I was reminded of the ultimate death and new life for me. The death of Jesus on the cross, once and for all, to purchase life for anyone who believes in him.

Are you seeing the pattern in your life? I promise you will once you start looking for it.

Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. ~Isaiah 43:19

Happy Easter, friends. He is risen indeed!



Do you know what this stack of papers means??  We sent our dossier off to our adoption agency. It’s gone. This adoption is officially out of our hands. Not that it was ever in our hands to begin with, we know that. God has been in control this whole time and will continue to be. But the headache-inducing paperwork is done and we’re so so glad. I told my friend that I would be so relieved when it wasn’t totally up to us to run around the get all this paperwork together. She replied that sometimes the waiting when there’s nothing for you to do it the hardest part. Probably true. So give me 2 months and I will most likely be complaining that I have no control over this situation and everything and everyone is taking waaaaaaay too long ;). We’re just so excited to meet this little girl, things literally cannot go fast enough at this point.

So now we need to begin the work of getting our house ready for a third member. I think this is going to be one of the most fun parts. We have several rooms that need painted and fixed up. Furniture needs to be rearranged. I have a plan in my head, it’s just going to take a little while to execute it. Our upstairs is going to undergo a pretty big transformation. Basically, the room we use as a giant closet right now is going to be an office/reading/play room. Ha!

I got this cute little stool to start the process. I stumbled on it at HomeGoods. It was the only one there, so I snatched it up! I was at Ikea last weekend and almost bought a little plastic one, and I’m so glad I waited. I love this stool. It’s perfect for our elephant-themed room. I also got some great Ugandan stuff from my friend that I’ll share in a bit.

Well, we’re off to enjoy our weekend without the stress of something hanging over our heads. Yay!!


The Adoption Process

I want to share some more about the adoption process. My plan is to update the blog as we go along. Obviously, we’ve completed quite a few steps in the process, so I will be back-tracking a bit at first here. But I want to be transparent about adoption–why we decided to adopt, what the process looks like (or at least what it has looked like for us), and what to expect if you’re thinking about adoption. I am by no means an expert on adoption. I have done some, but not a ton, of research on the subject. But I do know our story, and we’d like to share it if it helps others who are thinking about or have ever thought about adoption.

My plan is to do a blog series on adoption with a new post every week or two. I know from this experience that adoption can seem scary and daunting. We always talked about adopting one day, we even thought we’d start the process not long after we got married, but when we got to the point that it became real, I was really nervous! The cost alone was enough to give me a heart attack, but add in the fact that there are all sorts of special considerations for parenting an adopted child, and I quickly became overwhelmed. We basically just had to take it one (tiny) step at a time and trust that God was in all the details and would work things out. It’s a tough process, but I know for certain that it will all be worth it in the end.

Next Monday, I’ll be back with a post about the home study process. If you have any questions about the adoption process, feel free to leave a comment and I’ll make sure to answer it if I’m able to :).